How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd
~Alexander Pope
Posts
mandispeaks
12 years ago
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Why does 2010 smell so much like urine?
I wish I could say that my year has been AMAZING, and here at the beginning of the third month of this glorious year things have never been better, and that leprechauns and unicorns have been pooping little golden turds of rainbows & sunshine & candy all over my world..
Instead, I have a chihuahua who won't stop peeing all over my house. We had him broken of this horrible teeny dog habit. He was doing so WELL. Just the occassional "I am a tiny little dog with a tiny little bladder and when I get REALLY REALLY excited a little pee pee might squirt out so beware" accident, but the squatting and peeing was done... or so we thought.
In the past week he has lifted his leg and peed on my nephew, squatted between the couches and let 'er rip, circled the bottom of my chair and sprayed allllllll over, and followed me around the kitchen leaving little puddles every few inches in his wake... He is on a urine free-for-all and there is no end in sight. How does that much liquid fit into that tiny little body??
The worst part is when he is doing it and I come up to him to grab him to try and stop him/throw him outside/whatever, he just looks up at me like the top half of his body has NO IDEA what the bottom half is doing at that very moment. He just gets the cute puppy look like he is expecting some good lovins. Then I have to punish him and make him all cowery and the shame pee starts.
Little leaky bastard is lucky he is so fucking cute.
Instead, I have a chihuahua who won't stop peeing all over my house. We had him broken of this horrible teeny dog habit. He was doing so WELL. Just the occassional "I am a tiny little dog with a tiny little bladder and when I get REALLY REALLY excited a little pee pee might squirt out so beware" accident, but the squatting and peeing was done... or so we thought.
In the past week he has lifted his leg and peed on my nephew, squatted between the couches and let 'er rip, circled the bottom of my chair and sprayed allllllll over, and followed me around the kitchen leaving little puddles every few inches in his wake... He is on a urine free-for-all and there is no end in sight. How does that much liquid fit into that tiny little body??
The worst part is when he is doing it and I come up to him to grab him to try and stop him/throw him outside/whatever, he just looks up at me like the top half of his body has NO IDEA what the bottom half is doing at that very moment. He just gets the cute puppy look like he is expecting some good lovins. Then I have to punish him and make him all cowery and the shame pee starts.
Little leaky bastard is lucky he is so fucking cute.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Monday, February 01, 2010
One month...
Today is one month in, and I gotta say, it has been full of a lot more ups and downs than I thought it would be. Overall, while I could have done better, I think I have done pretty well. Especially with my food choices. The exercise is another story though. I started out strong, and then fizzled about halfway through.
Must. Fix. That.
So, one month in and my official result is...
Down 7.5 lbs.
I actually haven't lost a single pound in the last two weeks. I am extremely disappointed in myself that I haven't lost more. I lost that first seven lbs the first week and the second half a lb the second week. =(
Today I will do better. I have to do better.
Must. Fix. That.
So, one month in and my official result is...
Down 7.5 lbs.
I actually haven't lost a single pound in the last two weeks. I am extremely disappointed in myself that I haven't lost more. I lost that first seven lbs the first week and the second half a lb the second week. =(
Today I will do better. I have to do better.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Week two curse
I think this whole week two thing they talk about on shows like The Biggest Loser is happening to me. I have stuck to my diet, I have been working out for at least an hour every day, I am drinking water like it's going out of style... All of this and I don't think I have lost a single pound.
It is very disheartening. I will know for sure when I do my "weigh-in" on Friday, but the few times I have stepped up on the scale this week I see no progress so far at all in the weight department. =(
I really hope that week three will prove successful not only in sticking to my goals off the scale, but showing some progress on the scale as well.
It is very disheartening. I will know for sure when I do my "weigh-in" on Friday, but the few times I have stepped up on the scale this week I see no progress so far at all in the weight department. =(
I really hope that week three will prove successful not only in sticking to my goals off the scale, but showing some progress on the scale as well.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
From Eat This, Not That.
Saw this on the Eat This, NotThat! FB Fan Page:
Have a craving for sweets, even though you ate just an hour ago? Imagine eating a large, sizzling steak instead. If you're truly hungry, the steak will sound good, and you should eat. If it doesn't sound good, your brain is playing tricks on you. Then, before you take a bite of that chocolate bar, consider whether it's moving you closer to your goals or further from your goals. This will help you limit yourself to one or two squares of the sweet stuff.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Guilt
I had something weird happen to me last night for the first time ever in my life.
I felt so much guilt about eating ONE bad thing that I exercised again. It may sound like a small thing, but I have always been able to justify what I ate... Either with an "it wasn't THAT bad", or an "I will work that off later", or just straight out forgetting that I ate it. Never have I actually felt bad enough to try and exercise it off.
Once the realization hit that something that is so completely out of my normal way of thinking not only crossed my mind, but bothered me enough to act on it, I got a little weirded out by it. I am not quite sure if this is a sign that I am FINALLY ready to stick to healthy living and not just do a crash diet and give up, or if this is a sign of being too obsessed and it is getting to me in a harmful way.
I am going to assume it is a good sign and not a bad one. After all, if it was me being too obsessed would I even question it, or just keep obsessing? Or am I obsessing about possibly obsessing?
I think this new direction is screwing with my head. =P The only thing that I do know is that I am committed to seeing this through, and giving it a FAIR shot, not just spending a few weeks dieting and then give up like I always have in the past.
At least that is what I keep telling myself to keep myself motivated. It's a little harder now than it was on day 1, day 3, even day 5. I am having doubts, and the road looks so much longer now that the "new car smell" of it all has worn off. I have to keep going though. I have to.
I felt so much guilt about eating ONE bad thing that I exercised again. It may sound like a small thing, but I have always been able to justify what I ate... Either with an "it wasn't THAT bad", or an "I will work that off later", or just straight out forgetting that I ate it. Never have I actually felt bad enough to try and exercise it off.
Once the realization hit that something that is so completely out of my normal way of thinking not only crossed my mind, but bothered me enough to act on it, I got a little weirded out by it. I am not quite sure if this is a sign that I am FINALLY ready to stick to healthy living and not just do a crash diet and give up, or if this is a sign of being too obsessed and it is getting to me in a harmful way.
I am going to assume it is a good sign and not a bad one. After all, if it was me being too obsessed would I even question it, or just keep obsessing? Or am I obsessing about possibly obsessing?
I think this new direction is screwing with my head. =P The only thing that I do know is that I am committed to seeing this through, and giving it a FAIR shot, not just spending a few weeks dieting and then give up like I always have in the past.
At least that is what I keep telling myself to keep myself motivated. It's a little harder now than it was on day 1, day 3, even day 5. I am having doubts, and the road looks so much longer now that the "new car smell" of it all has worn off. I have to keep going though. I have to.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Day Three... so far so good!
I am on day 3 of the "diet". I hate to call it a diet because diet always feels so temporary. I am working towards making this my lifestyle, but saying "Day three of the new lifestyle" sounds weird, too. 
Anyway, day three and still going strong. I am asking the husband to move the exercise bike into the family room so that I can ride it in front of the TV today, and I have my Wii Fit (which he bought me on Jan 1st), plus I can always take walks around the neighborhood since it is SO nice outside in the winter here. Lots of variety to help me from getting burnt out exercising right away.
I have done really well the last two days with my food, and so far today doing well, too. I made a delicious salad that I have a feeling I will be making again and again, I made a really yummy healthy omelet for dinner last night, I have veggie and meatless healthy options in my fridge... I am even getting extra smiley faces on MyFoodDiary for eating so much fiber.
The starting out always feel great though. It's the keeping it up that's a problem
P.S. Three days in and I am already struggling to fit in all of my calories. I have three times more calories left to eat today than I have eaten so far, and breakfast and dinner are under my belt. I don't know if it's because I am not eating often enough, or I just don't have quite enough healthy variety in the house to find something to eat, but either way I am shocked. I thought that I would struggle with being hungry and always eating too much. Now here I am, satisfied and not eating enough. Crazy!!
Anyway, day three and still going strong. I am asking the husband to move the exercise bike into the family room so that I can ride it in front of the TV today, and I have my Wii Fit (which he bought me on Jan 1st), plus I can always take walks around the neighborhood since it is SO nice outside in the winter here. Lots of variety to help me from getting burnt out exercising right away.
I have done really well the last two days with my food, and so far today doing well, too. I made a delicious salad that I have a feeling I will be making again and again, I made a really yummy healthy omelet for dinner last night, I have veggie and meatless healthy options in my fridge... I am even getting extra smiley faces on MyFoodDiary for eating so much fiber.
The starting out always feel great though. It's the keeping it up that's a problem
P.S. Three days in and I am already struggling to fit in all of my calories. I have three times more calories left to eat today than I have eaten so far, and breakfast and dinner are under my belt. I don't know if it's because I am not eating often enough, or I just don't have quite enough healthy variety in the house to find something to eat, but either way I am shocked. I thought that I would struggle with being hungry and always eating too much. Now here I am, satisfied and not eating enough. Crazy!!
Friday, January 01, 2010
2010, here I come!
Today is a new day. A day for new beginnings, new motivation, and a brand spanking new year. A day to wipe all of the dirt from my past off of my shoes and start again. There are many things in my life I am not happy with. My marriage could be stronger, my house could be cleaner, the number on the scale could be lower... All things which are within my own control to change. So, now I will change them. A new day, a new year, a new decade (yes, for all of you geeks, I get it... the new decade doesn't officially start until 2011 =P)... What better time for a new me?
New years resolutions have never been something I kept, or even made, in the past. It seemed pointless because I would think "it's just another day, like yesterday, what's the point?", or I would fail miserably and end up disappointed and think "what's the point?", or I would forget about them completely in which case, "what's the point?". Making resolutions, and subsequently breaking them, is cliche. I know. Everyone does it, over and over again.
I am not everyone.
This year I feel more resolve to change my life than ever before. I have so much to be thankful for, so much to experience and enjoy, and so many reasons to take care of myself so that I can have many more new years in my future. I have an amazing husband, who despite the numerous hairs that have been pulled out over his behavior, is the best thing for me. He keeps me accountable, and motivated, and responsible. His shortcomings push me to find my own strengths. His strengths push me to examine my shortcomings. Most of all, he loves me. Strengths AND shortcomings alike. I have five furry little monsters that bring me more joy than I thought pets ever could. They make me stop and appreciate the small things in life... the way they tilt their heads to the side when they hear a strange noise, the way they stalk each other and jump out from behind corners just to surprise one another, the way they whine when they can't quite reach what they want. They remind me that money and possessions shouldn't matter as much as they do. They are perfectly happy without a new purse, a giant TV, or the newest video game. They are ecstatic just to be loved.
What more motivation do I need besides what I already have. <3
New years resolutions have never been something I kept, or even made, in the past. It seemed pointless because I would think "it's just another day, like yesterday, what's the point?", or I would fail miserably and end up disappointed and think "what's the point?", or I would forget about them completely in which case, "what's the point?". Making resolutions, and subsequently breaking them, is cliche. I know. Everyone does it, over and over again.
I am not everyone.
This year I feel more resolve to change my life than ever before. I have so much to be thankful for, so much to experience and enjoy, and so many reasons to take care of myself so that I can have many more new years in my future. I have an amazing husband, who despite the numerous hairs that have been pulled out over his behavior, is the best thing for me. He keeps me accountable, and motivated, and responsible. His shortcomings push me to find my own strengths. His strengths push me to examine my shortcomings. Most of all, he loves me. Strengths AND shortcomings alike. I have five furry little monsters that bring me more joy than I thought pets ever could. They make me stop and appreciate the small things in life... the way they tilt their heads to the side when they hear a strange noise, the way they stalk each other and jump out from behind corners just to surprise one another, the way they whine when they can't quite reach what they want. They remind me that money and possessions shouldn't matter as much as they do. They are perfectly happy without a new purse, a giant TV, or the newest video game. They are ecstatic just to be loved.
What more motivation do I need besides what I already have. <3
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