The Point System

The Point System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

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SIMPLE DUTIES:

You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5)
In the rain. (+10) But return with beer. (-15)
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)



It's her pet. (-25)

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SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS:

You stay by her side for the entire party. (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy. (-2)

Named Tina. (-4)

Tina is a dancer. (-10)

Tina has breast implants. (-80)

Tina has really big breast implants. (-200)

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HER BIRTHDAY:
You take her out to dinner. (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar. (+1)

Okay, it is a sports bar. (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

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A NIGHT OUT:

You take her to a movie. (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)

And it's called "Death Cop". (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans that was featured on "Oprah". (-15)

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YOUR PHYSIQUE:

You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-10,000)

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THE 'BIG' QUESTION:

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
[Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT you say.]
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response. (-20)

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COMMUNICATION:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes. (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-5,000)

Damn it's been a while.

Yeah, I can't believe it, but I actually have had a LIFE for the past few weeks and haven't had time to get on here and update. Something I NEVER thought would happen.

So uh, what to say... I have a pregnant cat. I'm sure I mentioned it before. She is like HUGELY pregnant now, and I think she has a good 5 or 6 kittens stuffed up in there, and I think the kittens are doing the hokey pokey on her innards cuz she can't go a day without leaking cat shit all over the place. It has actually been better today, but yesterday she tried to squeeze her fat ass under the couch and in the process of partially flattening her belly in an attempt to slide under she must have put too much pressure on her bowels. *SPLAT* All over my floor and RIGHT under my feet when I got off the couch to find the remote. SWEET. I wonder if that's some kind of beauty treatment in third world countries.

I also have a thriving business. Yeah, right. I did sell two more pictures and I have an order for four more. That will bring me up to a whopping SEVEN PICTURES SOLD. I rock. I wish people would pay $100 a pop so I could make more money and actually pay my car payment this month. I won't get into why I currently CAN'T pay my car payment.

And can I just say, I LOVE me some MySpace. I have now found 7 friends from high school and it's awesome catching up with them. Finally heard from Mike, my absolute FAVORITE guy in my circle of friends in school. He is doing well, apparently bought himself a big old house in AZ, and he is in love. Idn't that sweet.

Otherwise life is full of babysitting, walking kids to school, internet, and cleaning up after cats. Fun, fun. Saturday will be the highlight of my month though. I get to drive to Boise and meet my friend Julie. I am SO incredibly stoked, and will of course take pictures and post some on here eventually.