And it begins...

I figured since Hilary wouldn't stop bugging me about having a weblog, I would make one. So, here it is. I have no idea what I will talk about, but I'm sure I can think of something to ramble about. I'll put a new picture in here every day too, since I am a photographer and all.

Today it is Gretta. My SIL. I don't understand the girl. She is 29, divorced, with three kids. She was married to a total idiot loser that I figure she HAD to have married because she had low self esteem. She admits as much herself really.

Well, since the divorce almost 2 years ago she has lost 30 lbs, gotten new clothes, and taken on a new identity. I get that as much as she claims she is so confident, she has some serious self esteem issues. I get it, I really do. To be cheated on by an idiot like her ex would make ANYONE question their worth.

What I don't get is why she insists on putting on this "I am absolute perfection" act with me. First of all, I'm *supposed* to be her best friend. I can see that something is not right with her. I knew her when she was married. I knew her when she was depressed and miserable. I knew her when she was "frumpy" and "fat" (her words not mine). I knew her before the divorce and the personality make-over. The only difference I see now is that she tries so much harder to make people like her, which makes her a different person than the one I become best friends with over three years ago. There are parts of her that are changed for the better, because she is happier. I just don't think she is as happy and she lets on to be which makes me wonder how honest she is being, not just with me, but with herself.

This is the thing that brings it home for me though... the thing that concerns me the most... She has been with a guy for over a year now that REFUSES to get serious or even tell her that he loves her. He is flaky, he is phoney, he has some really bad habits, and honestly, he is using her. She will make excuses for him, but after a year the guy KNOWS if he loves her or not, so acting like it's just hard for him t o say the words but she "knows he feels it too" is a cop-out. After a year and a half, if he hasn't said it, he doesn't feel it. Bottom line. I wish for her sake that it was different, because she deserves to be loved and adored, but I can't wrap my brain around it and make it seem any other way than that. I know she doesn't want to be alone. I definately know what that feels like. I just think she is wasting her time with this guy when she could be finding someone to treat her right.

Still, she puts on this charade when it comes to him, like he is the best guy in the world, even though last night he flaked out on her (again) after planning to come over for a week. Yet somehow, today, he is the sweetest guy in the world and she is all over him. If a guy did that to me, I wouldn't wait on him and treat him like being in his presence makes my life complete once he did finally decide to show up and make an effort. I would be ripping him a new one. And after he did it to me over and over again, like he has done to her, I wouldn't just rip him a new one, I would rip his balls off and feed them to him as I kicked his ass to the curb. I would like to think that I am not the abnormal one here, but apparently I am.

I love her to death, she has literally changed my life. I wouldn't know my husband if it wasn't for her. I know that I can depend on her if I ever need anything. She is the best friend I have ever had. I just wonder why she puts up with what she does.

Happy 4th of July.