Social Media RIGHT NOW.

I found this online and think it is AMAZING!

One month...

Today is one month in, and I gotta say, it has been full of a lot more ups and downs than I thought it would be. Overall, while I could have done better, I think I have done pretty well. Especially with my food choices. The exercise is another story though. I started out strong, and then fizzled about halfway through.

Must. Fix. That.

So, one month in and my official result is...

Down 7.5 lbs.

I actually haven't lost a single pound in the last two weeks. I am extremely disappointed in myself that I haven't lost more. I lost that first seven lbs the first week and the second half a lb the second week. =(

Today I will do better. I have to do better.

Week two curse

I think this whole week two thing they talk about on shows like The Biggest Loser is happening to me. I have stuck to my diet, I have been working out for at least an hour every day, I am drinking water like it's going out of style... All of this and I don't think I have lost a single pound.

It is very disheartening. I will know for sure when I do my "weigh-in" on Friday, but the few times I have stepped up on the scale this week I see no progress so far at all in the weight department. =(

I really hope that week three will prove successful not only in sticking to my goals off the scale, but showing some progress on the scale as well.

From Eat This, Not That.

Saw this on the Eat This, NotThat! FB Fan Page:

Have a craving for sweets, even though you ate just an hour ago? Imagine eating a large, sizzling steak instead. If you're truly hungry, the steak will sound good, and you should eat. If it doesn't sound good, your brain is playing tricks on you. Then, before you take a bite of that chocolate bar, consider whether it's moving you closer to your goals or further from your goals. This will help you limit yourself to one or two squares of the sweet stuff.

Guilt

I had something weird happen to me last night for the first time ever in my life.

I felt so much guilt about eating ONE bad thing that I exercised again. It may sound like a small thing, but I have always been able to justify what I ate... Either with an "it wasn't THAT bad", or an "I will work that off later", or just straight out forgetting that I ate it. Never have I actually felt bad enough to try and exercise it off.

Once the realization hit that something that is so completely out of my normal way of thinking not only crossed my mind, but bothered me enough to act on it, I got a little weirded out by it. I am not quite sure if this is a sign that I am FINALLY ready to stick to healthy living and not just do a crash diet and give up, or if this is a sign of being too obsessed and it is getting to me in a harmful way.

I am going to assume it is a good sign and not a bad one. After all, if it was me being too obsessed would I even question it, or just keep obsessing? Or am I obsessing about possibly obsessing?

I think this new direction is screwing with my head. =P The only thing that I do know is that I am committed to seeing this through, and giving it a FAIR shot, not just spending a few weeks dieting and then give up like I always have in the past.

At least that is what I keep telling myself to keep myself motivated. It's a little harder now than it was on day 1, day 3, even day 5. I am having doubts, and the road looks so much longer now that the "new car smell" of it all has worn off. I have to keep going though. I have to.

Day Three... so far so good!

I am on day 3 of the "diet". I hate to call it a diet because diet always feels so temporary. I am working towards making this my lifestyle, but saying "Day three of the new lifestyle" sounds weird, too. 

Anyway, day three and still going strong. I am asking the husband to move the exercise bike into the family room so that I can ride it in front of the TV today, and I have my Wii Fit (which he bought me on Jan 1st), plus I can always take walks around the neighborhood since it is SO nice outside in the winter here. Lots of variety to help me from getting burnt out exercising right away.

I have done really well the last two days with my food, and so far today doing well, too. I made a delicious salad that I have a feeling I will be making again and again, I made a really yummy healthy omelet for dinner last night, I have veggie and meatless healthy options in my fridge... I am even getting extra smiley faces on MyFoodDiary for eating so much fiber.

The starting out always feel great though. It's the keeping it up that's a problem


P.S. Three days in and I am already struggling to fit in all of my calories. I have three times more calories left to eat today than I have eaten so far, and breakfast and dinner are under my belt. I don't know if it's because I am not eating often enough, or I just don't have quite enough healthy variety in the house to find something to eat, but either way I am shocked. I thought that I would struggle with being hungry and always eating too much. Now here I am, satisfied and not eating enough. Crazy!!

2010, here I come!

Today is a new day. A day for new beginnings, new motivation, and a brand spanking new year. A day to wipe all of the dirt from my past off of my shoes and start again. There are many things in my life I am not happy with. My marriage could be stronger, my house could be cleaner, the number on the scale could be lower... All things which are within my own control to change. So, now I will change them. A new day, a new year, a new decade (yes, for all of you geeks, I get it... the new decade doesn't officially start until 2011 =P)... What better time for a new me?

New years resolutions have never been something I kept, or even made, in the past. It seemed pointless because I would think "it's just another day, like yesterday, what's the point?", or I would fail miserably and end up disappointed and think "what's the point?", or I would forget about them completely in which case, "what's the point?". Making resolutions, and subsequently breaking them, is cliche. I know. Everyone does it, over and over again.

I am not everyone.

This year I feel more resolve to change my life than ever before. I have so much to be thankful for, so much to experience and enjoy, and so many reasons to take care of myself so that I can have many more new years in my future. I have an amazing husband, who despite the numerous hairs that have been pulled out over his behavior, is the best thing for me. He keeps me accountable, and motivated, and responsible. His shortcomings push me to find my own strengths. His strengths push me to examine my shortcomings. Most of all, he loves me. Strengths AND shortcomings alike. I have five furry little monsters that bring me more joy than I thought pets ever could. They make me stop and appreciate the small things in life... the way they tilt their heads to the side when they hear a strange noise, the way they stalk each other and jump out from behind corners just to surprise one another, the way they whine when they can't quite reach what they want. They remind me that money and possessions shouldn't matter as much as they do. They are perfectly happy without a new purse, a giant TV, or the newest video game. They are ecstatic just to be loved.

What more motivation do I need besides what I already have. <3

No sonner do I post a pic..

..and I change my hair again. =D

Here is the new do as of this afternoon. Nine inches gone!

My shortfalls

I have come to accept my shortfalls. Things like resisting chips and salsa, my handwriting, and speaking softly. I guess I can add another one to the list.

 Writing in my blog.

 Looking back on some of my ancient entries in this thing, I am glad that I come back once in a while to update for no apparent reason. Reading the past entries cracks me up. =P Instead of boring you with a "this is how much my life has changed since the last time I remembered I had this blog" update, I will just throw a few pics on here.

How my hair has changed

Who has visited me.

Who is new in my life.

Who I miss having around.

What I missed while I was gone.

Who is coming to see me soon.

(and Billy, too, but I don't have a recent pic of him.)

143 days of experience... Examining Barack Obama.

The chain mail claiming that Barack Obama only had 143 days of REAL experience before forming his presidential exploratory committee is all over the internet. You wanna know the REAL story? Here ya go...

Here are some facts and links to sources. Read them and form your own opinion.

1) Cheri Jacobus posted her article on The Loft, the blog for GOPUSA, on May 5, 2008 :
www.gopusa.com/theloft/?p=707

2) Barack Obama took the oath of office for the Senate on January 4, 2005:
www.obama.senate.gov/about/

3) Barack Obama announced his presidential exploratory committee on January 16, 2007:
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16652674/

4) Barack Obama made his formal announcement speech on February 10, 2007:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IHvOYY6feI

5) The US Senate was in session for the following number of days since Barack Obama took office:
2005 - 136 days
2006 - 136 days
2007 - 180 days
2008 - 136 days as of Sept 12

That is definitely 143 days of experience, many times over in fact. Not to mention his six years in the Illinois State Senate, and his decade of work as a lawyer specializing in constitutional law.

Nice try, though.

Palin in the gun over sacking emails

James Grimaldi, Eagle River, Alaska
September 5, 2008

ALASKA Governor Sarah Palin, the running mate for Republican presidential candidate John McCain, wrote emails that harshly criticised Alaska state troopers for failing to fire her former brother-in-law and ridiculed an internal affairs investigation into his conduct.

The emails, never before made public, were shown to The Washington Post by a former public safety commissioner, Walter Monegan, who was fired by Mrs Palin in July.

Mr Monegan has given copies of the emails to state ethics investigators to support his contention that he was dismissed for failing to fire Trooper Mike Wooten, who at the time was feuding with Mrs Palin's family.

"This trooper is still out on the street, in fact he's been promoted," said the February 7, 2007, email sent from Mrs Palin's personal Yahoo account and written to give Mr Monegan permission to speak on a violent-crime bill before the state legislature.

"It was a joke, the whole year long 'investigation' of him," the email said. "This is the same trooper who's out there today telling people the new administration is going to destroy the trooper organisation, and that he'd 'never work for that b----, Palin'."

Asked about the emails, campaign spokeswoman Maria Comella said Mrs Palin was merely alerting officials to potential threats to her family and that there is no evidence that she ever ordered the trooper to be fired.

Mrs Palin is under investigation by a bipartisan state legislative group that was authorised last month to look into whether she pressured Mr Monegan to force Trooper Wooten from the force, and whether his failure to do so led to his dismissal.

Mrs Palin had promised to co-operate with the inquiry, but this week she hired a lawyer to fight to move the case to the jurisdiction of the state personnel board, which she appoints.

When Mrs Palin entered the governor's office in late 2006, Trooper Wooten already had been reprimanded, reassigned and suspended for five days for incidents reported by her family. They had filed complaints in April 2005 after her younger sister's marriage fell apart and a bitter child-custody dispute began.

Mrs Palin has said previously that she discussed the trooper with Mr Monegan only in the context of security concerns for the family. Mr Monegan has said that Mrs Palin never directly told him to fire the trooper but that the message was clearly conveyed through repeated messages from the Governor, her husband and three members of her cabinet.

I got nothin...

I am going to TRY to start blogging again (If I remember, I am thirty now... the memory ain't what it used to be :oP) but unfortunately I have pretty much nothing to say right now so this is what you get...

Aren't we gorgeous? :oD

I know all of the archives are OLD, but I will add some new stuff soon, I swear!

Top 25 Favorite Flickr Photographers of 2005

These are some pictures from my top 25 favs from flickr. They are definately worth a look, so feel free to click on the image and go to their flickr sites and check them out!

Photography

My photography seems to be going well. I was dry for a while but I am feeling inspired again. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be satisfied with my work. In fact, I don't think I want to ever be fully satisfied, because then I may stop taking pictures.

I got some rain shots today that you can check out on my flickr, and I got Adam and Gretta to agree to pose for me. I have had a lot of ideas running through my head for photos, ideas I wish I had written down, so I think it's time to carry a pen and pad of paper with me all the time so I can write it all down.

More to come later.

Art

If anyone has any ideas for photos, lay them on me so I can try them out...

Giving thanks

Catching Air (black & white), originally uploaded by paperdollimages.

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. Mine was pretty good. I got some good pictures of my cousin Sam skateboarding (you can click on the one above to see my flickr), and I had fun with the Idaho family. I actually brought food this year and they loved the chicken ramen salad that I made.

I was thinking about the things I am most thankful for, so I will list them here.

My husband. I have to list him first because he is the biggest part of my life. I really have no idea where, or how miserable, I would be wihout him.

My family. I grew up with the best family. I had no idea at the time how unique we are. Families like ours, who adtually LIKE each other, are so hard to find.

My sister. She is the most important person in my life. Adam is my husband but the way I love him is different. Tricia has been there for me since we were babies. She is the only person who completely understands and knows ME. I love her so much in a way only sisters can understand.

My neices and nephews. I get to see Bill, Angela, and Ruby all the time and it's such a neat thing to be a part of their lives while I watch them grow into the people they will be. My nephew Jayme is the only one who is blood related to me and he is my sisters son so I feel a special bond to him and love him more than I ever thought I could love someone I hardly know. I can't wait to spend more time with him.

My trip to Arizona!! My sister asked her boyfriend, Jim, to fly me out as a christmas present to her so I am going to Arizona! Jim is such a great guy to do it. I will be gone from December 6th to the 20th, and I am going to have the BEST TIME. I miss home SO MUCH.

My camera, and my photography talent. I doubt myself all the time, and it seems so wrong to call myself talented, like I am arrogant. But, I am so grateful that I have what people call "a photographers eye" and that my FIL bought me such an amazing camera to develop it with.

Those are the main things. I hate typing on this laptop so I will leave it at that. oP

Twisted

twist16, originally uploaded by paperdollimages.

Things are bad. I thought we were struggling enough as it was, and then Monday they got a LOT worse.

For the past two years Adam has worked at Sam's Club overnights so he can go to school full time during the day. Well, at Sam's Club, all of the pallettes are supposed to be labeled with what is in them and if they can be stacked in the steel before they come to the store. The WalMart distribution center is supposed to have all of that done and then send it to the individual stores. Well, last Friday the night crew guys were putting up some of the shipments from the week that couldn't be stocked, and there was a pallette of product out in Adam's section that needed to be put in the steel. Adam checked the pallette slip to see what it was, but it was just product numbers, and the pallette wasn't labeled as "do not stack", so he stacked it with another pallette and proceeded to put it in the steal. When he almost had it all the way up, it crumbled because the bottom pallette was full of boxes that couldn't be stacked, so they collapsed. Adam told his manager that the pallette wasn't labeled, and his manager looked it and and saw that it wasn't labeled.

Well, Monday he went into work and they fired him. I am SO FUCKING PISSED about it right now I could hit someone. Adam is seriously the BEST night crew guy they have. He works the hardest, EVERYONE knows it, and even when I go into the store to shop people always tell me how awesome an employee he is. He has always worked so hard for them, and been so loyal to them. And it's like the company won't take responsibility for their OWN mistakes, they have to $h!t all over him and then throw him away. It is NOT his job to check every pallette to see what it is and if it should or should not be stacking. That shit is supposed to be labeled BEFORE it even gets to the store. It has never been his job, and now he is being fired because something that ISN'T HIS JOB wasn't done.

I don't know what the hell we are going to do now. Adam feels so shitty about it and it just breaks my heart to see him cry because he feels like he disappointed me. He was fired Monday night at work, and Tuesday morning he was already up and writing his resume, talking to people at school about jobs, going to the job placement center at his school, signing up to be a tutor, and filing for unemployment. Yesterday he went to talk to a guy he knows about working on him making web pages and ads for his magazine and stopped in a few places to get applications. Today he is going to a bunch of places, even a slaughter house, and applying for jobs.

Oh and this is another thing that makes me SO MAD about the situation. The unemployment office told him that he could actually be turned down for unemployment because he is a full time student. WTF??? I get that they are worried that being a full time student may make it harder for some people to either get a job, or be willing to get a job, but Adam worked full time and went to school full time for two years before he lost his job. He has already proven that he can and will do it, and he told the guy he talked to that he would be willing to switch to night school to get a job. I swear if they turn him down and basically FORCE him to quit school to get unemployment until he gets a job, I will be PISSED. How much sense does that make? UGH.

So yeah, we are fucked. Gretta is even mad about it, and it's her mission to find out who's responsibility it was the label the pallettes and let them know that their incompetance got Adam fired and she is going to push for them to get fired. She already voiced her anger about the situation at work and they were reviewing the video tapes of the night crew that next morning when she went in. Adam is also going back to Sam's to talk to the store manager about why he was fired, and let them know that he expects his vacation pay in his last check since he earned it and saved it up and was fired for something that wasn't his fault. We are also thinking of filing a complaint against WalMart for the shitty policy that got him fired instead of the person who should have labeled the pallette.

If Adam can't get a job soon, I am going to have to sell my camera, too. UGH I hate this. What am I going to do without a CAMERA? That's like my LAST THREAD of sanity left being sold off to the highest bidder.

Could my life suck ANY MORE?

Peek-a-boo

Peek a Boo, originally uploaded by paperdollimages.

It's been a while, I think. I can't remember really. Gretta bounced a check to me, the only check she has written me for babysitting. Nice. Now my phone is shut off cuz her returned check sucked up the money I was going to pay the bill with. So, I am going to babysit until she gets her tax return. She has two choices, pay me, and although I quit babysitting we can still be friends, or don't pay me, and not only lose a babysitter but the only real friend she has. I hope she makes the right decision.

I have been feeling drained and dry when it comes to my photography. I want to take these amazing pictures, and I see other people's amazing pictures all the time, but it feels like maybe I don't have it in me. Like I am just faking being a photographer. Maybe it's the struggle of every "artist", you never feel good enough. Not that I am an artist by any stretch of the imagination. Just another thing I am faking.

The Visitor

The Visitor, originally uploaded by paperdollimages.

I gave Gretta the letter and she didn't seem particularly mad about it. Probably because she knows I am right. I haven't had a chance to discuss it with her yet though. That will come when the kids aren't around.

So, instead of handle things with her, I took pictures of my husband and played with long exposures. This is the best one I got.

Spinning

spinning, originally uploaded by phil h.

This is not my photo, I actually saw it on Flickr and had to share. How bad ass is this??